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Life is like a river

Ever changing as it flows

A dream is like a butterfly

Ephemeral and fleeting

Skimming the surface

as the river flows

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I wrote the above on July 24th, just a few days ago. I also wrote the following: The time of letting go of life as I knew it was hard to know. I gave so much time and energy holding on, thinking if I kept doing the things I did the joy and passion would still be there, but those have already gone and are waiting for me in life as yet unknown. For now, I am in between.

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Fast forward to today. I may be in transition from one stage of my life to another, but joy and passion are not waiting for me out there somewhere. They are here in the in between. I felt them today sitting in the audience of W.C. Handy Fest’s Songwriter Series. I almost missed it. I did miss the Monday show.

My two main passions in life have been teaching and songwriting. I have walked away and back again from both more than once. My daughter used to tell me that I always forgot how much I loved teaching until I walked back into a classroom. Today I realized the same is true my music world. Seven years ago after a twelve-year hiatus from music, I walked into a studio and knew I was back. Today I walked into a live performance of songs and realized I had never left.

I think maybe this concept of being in between was in my head. After all, all there is is now.

Building a blog intended for more than a journal is not easy, at least it has not been for me. I am back after a three month break. Before now this blog has been a jumble of posts about too many facets of my life with little organization. Some content is harder to find than before because I am restructuring the menu. However, the category drop down menu on the sidebar is still intact and functional.

The focus of the blog now is my songwriting and my work as a creative catalyst now in Muscle Shoals and in the past in Nashville. I have had enough validation in the last few months to own both and want to share both with you. I will do that through videos, podcasts, meet-ups, shows, webinars, and who knows what else. My vision for this blog has not changed, but it is going to take longer than I realized. The goal is an international blog with content that attracts followers. I am not sure how the book I am writing about my life ties in, but it does.

I will still post about my struggle with bipolar disorder and my other passions. How could I leave out progress in my yard, flowers, birds, quilting, lyrical lines, and art? Eventually the menu and category cloud will held you find everything.

My life was as cluttered as my house. Thanks to a housecleaner, my house is in good shape. My life? I made progress this week. The method that is working for decluttering my life is a simple one anyone can use. In fact, it is almost too good to be true. I tried copious to do lists, detailed scheduling, Facebook groups, free and paid webinars and courses. All of those have one thing in common; I was trying. The harder I tried the more frustrated I became. With my life so cluttered, I was overwhelmed and felt I did not have enough time to get everything done. The problem was not lack of time. It was lack of a central focus.

Last Monday night, I went to bed asking the Powers That Be for guidance. I got up in the morning with clarity. The solution was so simple. Life needs priorities and a central focus. I chose myself as a writer as my central focus. My priorities were in place. Self-care, my family, and my Zen life of growing flowers, watching and photographing birds, finding four-leaf clover, and all the other soul satisfying things I do will not fall by the wayside. Seventy-six and retired with the luxury of doing what I want, I trust myself. I do not consider those activities or projects. They just are. Maybe someday self-care, family, and my Zen life will be all I want, but now I still want more.

I do not believe we can do anything we want no matter how hard we try, and I am sure we can not do everything, but we can excel at one well-chosen thing. Everything is falling into place with myself as a writer as my central focus for projects, tasks, activities, and most importantly for commitments. Energy follows on focus. I write songs, am writing a book, and building this blog. They dovetail. Anything that does not involve one of my priorities or me as a writer is a prerogative. Before I take on any other project or get pulled into a distraction, I will ask myself how it relates to Stephanie C Brown the writer.

Putting myself as a writer first is long overdue. I went to Nashville in 1985 to become a commercial songwriter. I had some success but soon became a publisher and manager, hosted shows, and was a mentor to many. All took energy away from my writing. I came home to Muscle Shoals and seven years ago I started writing again. At the same time I got back into hosting and promoting events and shows. Much of my time and energy went to other people. I was close to jumping into building Blue Ocean Glass as a management and PR company because I saw young talent that needs guidance. I have backed off of that because I deserve my energy. Blue Ocean Glass will be a publishing company for my own songs and rare other songs that I love so much I want to be involved.

Letting go of or being selective of anything that does not involve my priorities or central focus has freed my mind. I believe in my self as a writer as much as or more than anyone else does. Go to the song page and listen to some of the songs. Follow my blog. One central focus leaves room for priorities and more. A writer is not all that I am. Subscribe to my email list to get notifications of updates.