Posted in Bipolar Disorder - I have it, Journal

Bipolar or Just the Way People Are?

“At loose ends” – “Out of sorts ” – “Twixt and between” – “All at sea”

All the above describe me for the last few days. . Do “normal” people at times wake up feeling the uneasiness, the free-floating anxiety, the sense of dread, the scared feeling in the pit of the stomach? Of course, there is no normal as far as people go, but when you have any mental disorder you tend to think of others as normal. ( I fight against the classification of bipolar as a mental disorder, but that is the clinical classification.)

The thing that puzzles me is the when and why. The drift is gradual, the cause uncertain. I know others struggle as I do. The difference in me and some others is I know this too will pass. That certainty makes all the difference in my life. I remember when I did not know that. A few days or maybe weeks of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and out-of-step with the rest of the world are not so bad as long as I know sooner or later I will feel as right as rain again.

I have what I call my strategies to make it sooner instead of later. I think they would work for anyone, normal or not, but I am sure they will help anyone who struggles with bipolar disorder.

  • Eat
  • Sleep –
  • Take Meds – if you truly have bipolar disorder and think meds are not a good thing…that’s another conversation

These three are non- negotiable for me every day and night. What I eat and how I sleep are important, but I need the short mantra. A fourth one, exercise, should be non-negotiable, but I do not always accomplish it. These are so simple and basic, one would think no thought or effort would be required. For me, they are. To move through and get back to a better place, I have other strategies. None of them work all the time, but there is always at least one that does.

These bipolar posts are hard to write. Bipolar disorder does not define me, but the more I share the more some people see me through that filter. Because I have been told so often how my sharing has helped someone to cope or better understand, I accept the discomfort. I put myself out there as the bipolar disorder poster child. I qualify because at seventy-five I have a full, happy, productive life.

So I write. I breathe. I eat. I sleep. Maybe tomorrow I will exercise. If I shut down, still I trust. Tomorrow is a new day. My strategies will work. Perhaps not quickly, but this too will pass.

Posted in Bipolar Disorder - I have it

Bipolar Disorder

As a fast track to building this blog I am taking the Jeff Goin’s Intentional Blog course. One of the guidelines is early on on your blog, you should post about your cornerstones, the content your reader is likely to find on your blog. I have not posted lately about a content you will likely find here. I have bipolar disorder, and it affects most aspects of my life. I have people argue with me that I do not have it because I cope so well. I have people tell me there are better ways than medication to handle it and that meds are more harmful than helpful. I have people say they must have it too because sometimes they are depressed. What it comes down to with me is people do not live my life; they are not in my skin; they may think they know, but they do not. Of course, this is true for everyone.

Bipolar is a bundle of traits and symptoms. I do not think they can all exist at the same time., but I can move through them fairly quickly. That is good, or at least, gives me hope. Today has been what I call a bipolar day. I meant to post more in depth about not only my experiences but also some articles, others’ blog posts, and some quotations. That is going to take more time than I could devote to it today. I will finish the more in depth post and publish it later.

Posted in Bipolar Disorder - I have it, Journal

Get me out of this vacuum!

Please, follow this blog and leave comments. I am missing the interaction and feedback now that I am on social media break. This feels somewhat like a vacuum .

Instead of quick Facebook posts, generally not edited, I want to find my style and my voice for the novel I plan to write. To do so, I have to slow down and not be so quick and careless.

Posted in Bipolar Disorder - I have it

On a Bipolar Day

My Day Is a Win If..

Having bipolar disorder is challenging in the best of times. Now, during Covid19 self-isolation, I struggle. My mantra Sleep Eat Meds is often enough for a good day, but other days I need ways to stay up and going and positive. I rely on strategies, some long standing and some new.

Now in the morning or the night before I decide my day will be a win if I do a certain thing. Yesterday my day was a win because I got the trash and recycling to the curb. The day before my day was a win because I did not nap during the day. Today my day is already a win because I am writing this.